Rolling Around Looking For Easy Kills Like Punks

I seem to have a knack of finding mining fit battlecruisers lurking in belts doing their dirty deeds. On this particular occasion I was out with my buddy Firelight Morgenstern on a routine patrol, I was in a Hurricane and he was in a Tengu, a nice little two-man fleet. Needless to say, this rock-hungry abomination that we stumbled upon didn't last very long under heavy fire.

After offering up a good fight in local we received this verbal return.

[ 2011.03.05 19:53:16 ] Javen Kai > fuckin assholes

So, I decide to fire up the troll machine and invite him to my ransom channel.

[ 2011.03.05 20:02:41 ] Miura Bull > hello mr, your language was not very nice and my mum read it on my screen

[ 2011.03.05 20:03:00 ] Javen Kai > what f is this

[ 2011.03.05 20:03:07 ] Miura Bull > can you say sorry please?

[ 2011.03.05 20:03:15 ] Miura Bull > mum read screen when you swore at us

[ 2011.03.05 20:03:15 ] Javen Kai > for what?

[ 2011.03.05 20:03:24 ] Miura Bull > swearing in my game i'm playing on

[ 2011.03.05 20:03:53 ] Javen Kai > you have brought me here to mock me?

[ 2011.03.05 20:04:04 ] Miura Bull > no mister

[ 2011.03.05 20:04:12 ] Saftsuze > Javen, wash your mouth and transfer 10 million isk to mr Bull, please.

[ 2011.03.05 20:04:33 ] Miura Bull > yeah

[ 2011.03.05 20:04:35 ] Javen Kai > lol

[ 2011.03.05 20:04:40 ] Javen Kai > you guys are punks

[ 2011.03.05 20:04:45 ] Miura Bull > if you pay 10m isk you can have a pass for the mining fields if you like

[ 2011.03.05 20:05:00 ] Javen Kai > i dont need a pass.. next time im coming back with my fleet

[ 2011.03.05 20:05:07 ] Miura Bull > oh

[ 2011.03.05 20:05:10 ] Saftsuze > And another 10 will give you the rights to swear

[ 2011.03.05 20:05:21 ] Miura Bull > i'm sorry what fleet? don't please bring fleet

[ 2011.03.05 20:05:40 ] Miura Bull > how many in your fleet ? only two and 3 of us here

[ 2011.03.05 20:06:03 ] Javen Kai > thats need to know information, top secret

[ 2011.03.05 20:06:18 ] Firelight Morgenstern > now look what you've done miura

[ 2011.03.05 20:06:34 ] Miura Bull > sorry bro

[ 2011.03.05 20:06:51 ] Firelight Morgenstern > javen

[ 2011.03.05 20:07:00 ] Javen Kai > hmm?

[ 2011.03.05 20:07:06 ] Firelight Morgenstern > please refrain from bringing in your fleet, we could talk diplomacy if you like?

[ 2011.03.05 20:07:19 ] Firelight Morgenstern > no need for violence now is there

[ 2011.03.05 20:07:30 ] Miura Bull > dont tell mom Fire

[ 2011.03.05 20:07:36 ] Javen Kai > im not sure.. gangs like you live for it right?

[ 2011.03.05 20:07:44 ] Javen Kai > thats what you do roll around looking for easy kills like punks

[ 2011.03.05 20:07:50 ] Javen Kai > is that how it goes? huh pank asses

[ 2011.03.05 20:08:03 ] Firelight Morgenstern > we're kind of new, miura thought you was a rat and tbh so did i

[ 2011.03.05 20:08:27 ] Miura Bull > yeah we didn't mean to burn your ship, but after the rats attacked my ship it locked back at you for my settings are wrong

[ 2011.03.05 20:08:36 ] Javen Kai > lol whatever

[ 2011.03.05 20:08:40 ] Javen Kai > this is stupid

[ 2011.03.05 20:08:55 ] Miura Bull > is your fleet on standby?

[ 2011.03.05 20:09:34 ] Javen Kai > maybe.. you had better rally some more men.



At this point I randomly invite some guy to the convo from Saftsuze's ransom channel who he had killed earlier and was still loitering.


[ 2011.03.05 20:09:44 ] Miura Bull > hello marc freemen  are you in Javen's fleet?

[ 2011.03.05 20:09:48 ] Saftsuze > marc?! Are you following me? Stalking me?!

[ 2011.03.05 20:10:03 ] Miura Bull > me rally some men? I have no more friends they all playing playstation at minute having sleepover tonight

[ 2011.03.05 20:10:10 ] marc freemen > y'all are nuts im tring to do a quest here

[ 2011.03.05 20:10:23 ] Saftsuze > of the holy grail?

[ 2011.03.05 20:10:36 ] Javen Kai > no men to rally? so you pick a fight with no fleet backup but 3 or 4 guys?

[ 2011.03.05 20:10:43 ] Miura Bull > javen is doing a quest and i thought you was in his fleet that's not true is it?

[ 2011.03.05 20:11:01 ] Saftsuze > or the quest of Kruul's DNA ?

[ 2011.03.05 20:11:07 ] Miura Bull > yeah I realise my mistake now Javen

[ 2011.03.05 20:11:27 ] Javen Kai > I demand to know whos your CEO?

[ 2011.03.05 20:11:40 ] Miura Bull > sard caid

[ 2011.03.05 20:11:58 ] Miura Bull > he can handle all complaints but he will punish me so if you dont talk to him would be more apprciated thanks

[ 2011.03.05 20:12:21 ] Miura Bull > and i'll see if we can come to some sort of arrangement

[ 2011.03.05 20:12:55 ] marc freemen > idk what i have to do with this what is this?

[ 2011.03.05 20:13:17 ] Miura Bull > I don't know what it was for but when it stood next to you had to shoot it marc

[ 2011.03.05 20:13:21 ] Saftsuze > marc, you casn have the DNA for 5 million isk

[ 2011.03.05 20:13:32 ] Saftsuze > i can haz dna

[ 2011.03.05 20:13:45 ] marc freemen > i have his damn dna what is going on here please?

[ 2011.03.05 20:14:06 ] Saftsuze > why do i have it then?!

[ 2011.03.05 20:14:11 ] Javen Kai > so which one of you flys a battleship?

[ 2011.03.05 20:14:11 ] Firelight Morgenstern > brb guys tamagotchi needs feeding

[ 2011.03.05 20:14:21 ] Saftsuze > am i turning into a cloned Kruul?!

[ 2011.03.05 20:14:38 ] Miura Bull > Fire can fly a battleship with heavy guns

[ 2011.03.05 20:14:54 ] Javen Kai > mmm

[ 2011.03.05 20:15:16 ] Miura Bull > not guns I mean toropedos, he is quite good with them, he learnt it on his xbox, can you fly the battleship?

[ 2011.03.05 20:15:31 ] Javen Kai > you know your boss would really not like you giving out all this information

[ 2011.03.05 20:16:01 ] Miura Bull > firelight is my friend in different corp but dont tell my boss about me

[ 2011.03.05 20:16:04 ] Miura Bull > if that's ok

[ 2011.03.05 20:16:25 ] Miura Bull > can your fleet fly battleships?

[ 2011.03.05 20:17:02 ] Javen Kai > who doesnt fly battleships are you kidding me? this isnt Candyland.

[ 2011.03.05 20:17:39 ] Miura Bull > true.... i just dont want to underestimate your fleet if fire cant sort an agreement out

[ 2011.03.05 20:17:48 ] Miura Bull > I dont like fighting against battleships

[ 2011.03.05 20:18:55 ] Firelight Morgenstern > back

[ 2011.03.05 20:19:04 ] Firelight Morgenstern > god damned batteries were low, thought i'd lost him there

[ 2011.03.05 20:19:13 ] Firelight Morgenstern > so where were we? Javen?

[ 2011.03.05 20:19:23 ] Javen Kai > ask bonehead.

[ 2011.03.05 20:19:32 ] Miura Bull > bonehead?

[ 2011.03.05 20:19:41 ] Miura Bull > marc freemen  ?

[ 2011.03.05 20:19:42 ] Javen Kai > yea Mr.Bull i am calling you a bonehead

[ 2011.03.05 20:19:53 ] Miura Bull > oh ok :(

[ 2011.03.05 20:20:08 ] Firelight Morgenstern > there is no need for that Javen lad

[ 2011.03.05 20:20:46 ] Javen Kai > Fire your the CEO?

[ 2011.03.05 20:21:23 ] Javen Kai > of a one man corporation... lol

[ 2011.03.05 20:21:41 ] Firelight Morgenstern > I am guardian of miura bull and all of his friends who come round to play and my one man corporation just messed up your day LIKE A BOSS - lol

[ 2011.03.05 20:21:55 ] Firelight Morgenstern > and yeah with 1 man, we get on fine that way

[ 2011.03.05 20:23:08 ] Javen Kai > im pulling back my fleet, but next time Mr. Bull should be careful.

[ 2011.03.05 20:23:10 ] Miura Bull > sard caid is my ceo

[ 2011.03.05 20:23:27 ] Miura Bull > actually i think you should send him a message, i put my hands up that i made mistake

[ 2011.03.05 20:23:40 ] Miura Bull > maybe he would understand

[ 2011.03.05 20:24:28 ] Javen Kai > not buying it.. i know your type.. easy kills, you roam around all day mostly idle looking for an easy gank your all lame ass pirates

[ 2011.03.05 20:24:54 ] Javen Kai > and you bring me into the chat.. cause this might be your only entertainment for the day cos you sad boys

[ 2011.03.05 20:25:06 ] Miura Bull > just don't want you to get mad and bring your battleship fleet that is all

[ 2011.03.05 20:25:25 ] Miura Bull > this is not entertainment it is kind of serious business and worrying for us all concerned if you bring your fleet in

[ 2011.03.05 20:25:31 ] Javen Kai > i wouldnt risk my fleet for you guys.. lol its kind of an expensive one

[ 2011.03.05 20:25:49 ] Javen Kai > over a 30mil hurricane?we dont do risks for that

[ 2011.03.05 20:25:57 ] Javen Kai > bad buisness right there..

[ 2011.03.05 20:26:05 ] Miura Bull > I want to see your fleet

[ 2011.03.05 20:26:38 ] Javen Kai > i bet you do, ships are hung up at the moment. Perhaps we can arrange a date.

[ 2011.03.05 20:26:43 ] Miura Bull > i'd pull their pants down and tickle their harris

[ 2011.03.05 20:26:52 ] Miura Bull > I'm joking

[ 2011.03.05 20:27:04 ] Miura Bull > where are they hung up?

[ 2011.03.05 20:27:20 ] Miura Bull > I see you're the operations director?

[ 2011.03.05 20:27:23 ] Javen Kai > in a system not far from where you attacked me. Ready for pvp duties

[ 2011.03.05 20:27:30 ] Miura Bull > uh oh oh crap

[ 2011.03.05 20:27:33 ] Miura Bull > sorry man

[ 2011.03.05 20:27:38 ] Javen Kai > LOL you should be

[ 2011.03.05 20:28:03 ] Javen Kai > pilot's need there downtime tho.. which is lucky for you

[ 2011.03.05 20:28:15 ] Miura Bull > phewee

[ 2011.03.05 20:28:46 ] Javen Kai > but i wanna talk to someone important.. my corporation is looking to join an alliance

[ 2011.03.05 20:29:13 ] Firelight Morgenstern > is this your fleet ? http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/combat_record.php?type=corp&name=GlekCo

[ 2011.03.05 20:29:45 ] Miura Bull > well your stats show that you perhaps have the willing for a fight, maybe we could form an allice?

[ 2011.03.05 20:30:13 ] Javen Kai > mostly those kills are from our industrials getting ganked

[ 2011.03.05 20:30:35 ] Miura Bull > we could form an allice if you can show me the kills then, would be cool to fly with battleship fleet

[ 2011.03.05 20:30:44 ] Miura Bull > sucks when that happens to industrials

[ 2011.03.05 20:30:52 ] Javen Kai > we dont kill for sport just when provoked

[ 2011.03.05 20:31:36 ] Miura Bull > yeah I understand you buddy, it is like fox hunting, couple of us have been trying to get indie hunting banned for a while now

[ 2011.03.05 20:31:38 ] Javen Kai > but we need out of high sec to increase profits, to get out of high sec you need connections and you guys might help us

[ 2011.03.05 20:31:53 ] Miura Bull > true

[ 2011.03.05 20:33:11 ] Miura Bull > we didn't know your hurricane was an indie when we locked it up cos it had mining lasers on and we just thought cos it was rat it would be fighting boat

[ 2011.03.05 20:33:19 ] Firelight Morgenstern > yeah that is what happened

[ 2011.03.05 20:33:30 ] Firelight Morgenstern > hey . . where did marc go?

[ 2011.03.05 20:33:36 ] Miura Bull > pff ?

[ 2011.03.05 20:33:50 ] Miura Bull > Hey Javen, about this allice

[ 2011.03.05 20:33:59 ] Javen Kai > if i had my pvp gear on that ship.. it would have been abit more interesting battle

[ 2011.03.05 20:34:12 ] Miura Bull > oh god yes I fully agree

[ 2011.03.05 20:34:37 ] Miura Bull > so you have 9 in your corp . . . I want you to tell me what you 9 guys might bring in a fleet to fight by the side of me and my friends

[ 2011.03.05 20:34:39 ] Javen Kai > i solo sleeper sites with that thing

[ 2011.03.05 20:34:47 ] Miura Bull > an ideal fleet composition for you guys

[ 2011.03.05 20:34:58 ] Miura Bull > sleeper sites? do you mine them?

[ 2011.03.05 20:36:02 ] Javen Kai > i cant speak about our operations too deeply

[ 2011.03.05 20:36:32 ] Miura Bull > absolutely

[ 2011.03.05 20:36:44 ] Miura Bull > but we need some kind of idea for future joint ops etc

[ 2011.03.05 20:37:11 ] Javen Kai > we have the technology to explore wormholes

[ 2011.03.05 20:37:22 ] Miura Bull > ooh

[ 2011.03.05 20:37:54 ] Javen Kai > on a good night we can pull out 100million worth of resources in 5-6 hours

[ 2011.03.05 20:38:04 ] Miura Bull > dangerous places I hear?

[ 2011.03.05 20:38:08 ] Javen Kai > very

[ 2011.03.05 20:38:28 ] Miura Bull > do you think we'd be able to help your fleet if we bring me in my hurricane and my brother in his tengui boat?

[ 2011.03.05 20:39:31 ] Javen Kai > im sure yes our security department is thin.

[ 2011.03.05 20:40:11 ] Javen Kai > we cant all fly our battleship when we are running industrials

[ 2011.03.05 20:40:15 ] Firelight Morgenstern > I have a question Javen, sir

[ 2011.03.05 20:40:25 ] Javen Kai > yes Mr. Morgenstern

[ 2011.03.05 20:40:40 ] Firelight Morgenstern > I found this killmail in your wormhole operations . . http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=12501357  I wondered if you could elaborate on what happened

[ 2011.03.05 20:41:02 ] Firelight Morgenstern > for operations reviews etc, don't want to lose my tengui if we go in a wormhole togther

[ 2011.03.05 20:41:19 ] Javen Kai > yes i understand i will explain

[ 2011.03.05 20:41:39 ] Firelight Morgenstern > thank you

[ 2011.03.05 20:41:52 ] Javen Kai > our scout.. before he gained the ability to cloak

[ 2011.03.05 20:42:13 ] Javen Kai > had only his combat ship.. in our early operations we didnt have the resources we do now

[ 2011.03.05 20:43:30 ] Javen Kai > we send in a cloaked scout.. he scans if the wormhole is inhabitied

[ 2011.03.05 20:43:43 ] Firelight Morgenstern > I understand... is that the normal drake fitting you guys use? looks ok to me but just checking

[ 2011.03.05 20:43:50 ] Javen Kai > no its not

[ 2011.03.05 20:43:58 ] Firelight Morgenstern > pr0 scout drake?

[ 2011.03.05 20:44:23 ] Javen Kai > not anymore

[ 2011.03.05 20:44:47 ] Javen Kai > we use inexpesive probing ships that can cloak

[ 2011.03.05 20:45:03 ] Javen Kai > we scout.. if its inhabited with a force we can not handle we back out and rescan for a wormhole elsewhere

[ 2011.03.05 20:45:15 ] Firelight Morgenstern > ooh i do like the sound of that in and out

[ 2011.03.05 20:45:51 ] Miura Bull > this does sound promising

[ 2011.03.05 20:46:13 ] Javen Kai > we have gas miners, we have industrials, and my hurricane is able to tank sleeper pve sites solo

[ 2011.03.05 20:48:20 ] Javen Kai > we just looking for some good security guys.. possibly an alliance with a pvp corp

[ 2011.03.05 20:48:38 ] Javen Kai > we arent carebears.. but we dont make our money pirate we do it the hard knuckle way

[ 2011.03.05 20:50:03 ] Javen Kai > we hit a billion isk, last month

[ 2011.03.05 20:50:24 ] Miura Bull > my whole corp might be able to assist, we all have pvp experience

[ 2011.03.05 20:50:39 ] Javen Kai > wormhole is where the money is..

[ 2011.03.05 20:51:14 ] Firelight Morgenstern > i imagine it is

[ 2011.03.05 20:51:26 ] Miura Bull > yeah

[ 2011.03.05 20:51:53 ] Javen Kai > but as if now.. our t2 gas miner.. is also our security director

[ 2011.03.05 20:51:59 ] Miura Bull > would you guys be able to pay for a whole security wing though? They don't really come cheap these days

[ 2011.03.05 20:52:20 ] Miura Bull > I see, being on gas and doing security isn't a good mix

[ 2011.03.05 20:52:34 ] Javen Kai > exactly..

[ 2011.03.05 20:53:14 ] Javen Kai > im not sure how the finacials would work out

[ 2011.03.05 20:54:37 ] Javen Kai > it would only be profitable if operations could be run consistantly.

[ 2011.03.05 20:54:52 ] Miura Bull > you'd have to speak to Sard Caid tbh

[ 2011.03.05 20:54:56 ] Miura Bull > about a fee

[ 2011.03.05 20:55:06 ] Firelight Morgenstern > but I can also handle contracts

[ 2011.03.05 20:55:37 ] Firelight Morgenstern > some guy the other week paid me 500 million and I sat with him in low-sec for 2 weeks, non-stop so he could mine the ores out there

[ 2011.03.05 20:55:42 ] Firelight Morgenstern > he was happy

[ 2011.03.05 20:55:51 ] Firelight Morgenstern > he paid me 250 up front and 250 after

[ 2011.03.05 20:56:56 ] Javen Kai > i doubt we could afford that right now but i am interested

[ 2011.03.05 20:57:18 ] Firelight Morgenstern > well you said you was rich from sleeper sites?

[ 2011.03.05 20:57:20 ] Javen Kai > we spent it on battleships but either way.. you guys talk to people

[ 2011.03.05 20:57:25 ] Javen Kai > i have to leave.. will let you know about the deposit

[ 2011.03.05 20:57:33 ] Firelight Morgenstern > what I did offer one customer was a trial period, no obligation

[ 2011.03.05 20:57:49 ] Firelight Morgenstern > ok, well we have your number..... call us sometime

[ 2011.03.05 20:58:37 ] Firelight Morgenstern > we could sort a free trial where i protect your lowsec mining op or something, let me know

[ 2011.03.05 20:58:47 ] Javen Kai > we will talk again

[ 2011.03.05 20:58:54 ] Firelight Morgenstern > o7 fly safe

[ 2011.03.05 20:59:09 ] Javen Kai > but definatly give it some thought.. we could all make some isk by working together..

[ 2011.03.05 20:59:16 ] Firelight Morgenstern > damned right

[ 2011.03.05 20:59:24 ] Miura Bull > o7 see you

[ 2011.03.05 20:59:35 ] Javen Kai > fly safe boys.. next time hopefuly we can meet again side by side without guns pointed at each other


LOLOL he left at this point.

[ 2011.03.05 20:59:59 ] Saftsuze > OMG

[ 2011.03.05 21:00:02 ] Firelight Morgenstern > OMG

[ 2011.03.05 21:00:07 ] Saftsuze > LOL

[ 2011.03.05 21:00:14 ] Firelight Morgenstern > I AM SO GOING TO ARRANGE TO RAPE HIS MINING FLEET AFTER TAKING HIS ISK

[ 2011.03.05 21:00:18 ] Firelight Morgenstern > lol

[ 2011.03.05 21:00:55 ] Saftsuze > Man, you gotta keep up this through evemails. Always bet on stupid!

[ 2011.03.05 21:01:46 ] Firelight Morgenstern > hopefully he will meet me in lowsec with his fleet, would make a perfect ending to the story . .

[ 2011.03.05 21:02:42 ] Saftsuze > OMG - marc is back in parts

[ 2011.03.05 21:03:06 ] Saftsuze > /emote is switching to a scanning ship

[ 2011.03.05 21:03:16 ] Miura Bull > mahahaha


A few weeks later Firelight arranged a cut-price fee for his 'protection services' - a deposit of 150 million isk. He then pressed the block button.




MB.