well it looks like Darios enjoying college....

So I know no one reads this obviously, but If I do not vent my emotions in some form there will be a double homicide-suicide in my college apartment. I would like to start out by addressing this post's purpose. My roommates literally make my skin crawl. At this point in the semester, merely sitting down in the same room with them, makes my blood curdle. I literally have to clench my jaw when conversing with these SHIT FUCKING BEAKS, so I don't fucking snap and murder my apartment complex. Let me repeat, SHIT FUCKING BEAKS.

I cannot wait until you move out next semester you FUCKS. YOU. FUCKS.

No, I do not want to watch varsity blues, so you can reminisce your pathetic fucking days of high school football, YOU FUCKING LOSER. YOU. FUCKING. LOSER. No, do NOT start meaningless arguments and debates over unnecessary issues for the sake of debating. I do not want to hear your absolutely meaningless fucking arguments. While I am watching The Big Lebowski, (which is literally one of the few and rare fucking things that sheds the most minuscule fragments of light, in my seemingly AWFUL existence here at college)do not start arguments including, but not limited to, "I don't know, this movie isn't that good" or, "There's really no point to this scene". Listen you cock sucking waste of fucking human, do not speak ill of The Big Lebowski. Secondly do not speak ill of Seinfeld while I am watching my season DVD's. You have the worst taste in cinema and television, you sophist.

Do NOT tell me to turn off Black Sabbath when I am studying. Do NOT blast breaking benjamin or whatever fucking rubbish you insist on putting on my bose speakers to the point of nearly blowing them out.

Stop bringing around you're shitty fucking girlfriend, whom you treat like a rented camel in a 600 mile caravan. You deserve to DIE ALONE, and if there is any justice in this world (which I'm fairly fucking sure there isn't) you will.

No one cares about how much of a bad ass you are because you constantly flaunt that you were charged with three misdemeanors, but were dropped to citations. YOU ARE NOT COOL, NO. NO. NO. YOU FUCKING SUCK. Stop flaunting about your drinking capabilities when I am graciously allowing you to socially interact with me. IE., Us drinking the same amount of alcohol, and at the end of the night while I am trying to sleep, you PISS in the corner of our wretched shared room. I'm not even going to think about this, because I don't want to get angry. I don't care about how many friends you've lost to cocaine, or how you've been to rehab for cocaine. HEY BUDDY, try SELF-CONTROL out, it fucking rules. You've broken our front door because you are an alcoholic and continually fight with your god-awful girlfriend (side story: he punched out his windshield, while his girlfriend was kind enough to drive his drunk ass home from a party, because he didn't want to leave..[I know this doesn't affect me, but holy shit it's fucking hilarious]).


I can literally not wait until I don't have to see your devilish fucking head. You are single-handedly driving me into a reclusive, self-loathing state, you vermin.

As for the other roommate. Listen dude I hate you. Do you know what it's like to say hi to someone in the morning when they wake up, and them not respond to you. Now imagine doing that to someone (REPEATEDLY, MIND YOU) that you fucking loathe. Hey buddy, I don't want to say hi to you, but I am a decent fucking human being. YOU JUST SUCK. Go back to Mooseballs, PA where you're from and just fucking exist out of my sight. Watching you interact while you're high, drives me up a fucking wall. I could drive a cement truck through an active playground.


The only thing I have left to look forward to at this point in my life is fucking DYING. And you two COMPLETE FUCKING DICKS, are the sole reason of my fucking misery. Congratulations.

Love your roomate
XOXOXO